caitlin lam (perfect_weather) wrote,
caitlin lam

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how i know i'm related to my grandma

within 15 minutes of seeing her:

me: oh, uncle brad, i was going to apply yo UCLA, but the deadline passed....bummer

grandma: you don't actually entertain hopes of getting into UCLA? 

me: oh.....well, i didn't apply, so its not really an issue.....

grandma: but you actually think you would get in? no no...

my grandma goes to my cousins 3rd grade class for the day in which she sits next to a 60 year old man with a 9 year old son
grandma: so hows that viagra? it must be working pretty well..

at breakfast this morning:
my mom: yeah i like having so many siblings
grandma: well good thing i didn't believe in abortions.

how i know i'm related to my mother:

we're all sitting in the living room on a sunday morning (you can see into my living room from outside)

mom: (hits the floor violently and starts crawling) OH CRAP GET DOWN!! 

my sister and i: what??

mom: the jehovahs witnesses are coming!!

in which my sister and i immediately hit the floor. 

also merry christmas!

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